Behind the Bar - Complete Review

Boboquivari's


Neighborhood: Marina/Cow Hollow
1450 Lombard Street(between Franklin St & Van Ness Ave)
San Francisco, CA 94123
(415) 441-8880


In the Know: I shouldn't really be saying this because it pretty much goes against the whole idea of me becoming a designer. But I have never been one to follow rules and so I don't see why I would need to now. What I am getting at is while hiring a designer will definitely give your restaurant a better atmosphere which in turn will bring in more business [hint, hint], one does not have to pay someone else a 218.7% mark up for a design. (and to the 92.4% of gay males that run the interior design world just remember, I have graciously walked 3 very handsome, strapping young men out of the proverbial closet so if you feel I am outing you, we're even bitches!) Obviously with the economy in turmoil everyone wants to save as much money as possible so restaurant owners are now becoming designers. And, more often than not they aren't doing such a horrible job. There must be a 'How To' book to bar/restaurant design going around. I am sure within these pages there would be certain must does, can does, and definitely don't, even it you think it is cool, trust me no one else does do guidelines. For example: Must Do- design a space that is comfortable for both your patrons and employees. (duoy duh that is why I am doing this whole blog.) Can Do- Put as many candles as you can around. This is a great idea for first time daters because candles really can help make someone look attractive. And we all know more than half of the first time dates are with people you met at a bar and at the time didn't realize how thick your beer goggles actually were so you agreed to go on a date only to find out the person may or may not be balding and may or may not be over twice your age and may or may not be wearing a brown belt with black shoes, ugh. Don't Do- turn your fine dining establishment into a three ring circus. Unless you are Teatro ZinZanni about to unveil the bearded lady do everything in your power to avoid freaking out your patrons. With this said, one must wonder how a multi-leveled steak house located on Lombard, could seriously be overrun with creepy clowns. Owners how could you let this happen? And more importantly why the heck would you do this to us? Unless of course you were raised amongst the carnies which would lead me to ask a different variety of questions. The space is hard enough to maneuver without painted faced masks at every corner.

Now, I of all people know that you have to work with what you got. (*Hey-oh!) And this space is not the most server/customer/hostess/chef friendly. When you walk in there is a semi-circular bar taking up 80% of the entrance. Generally this wouldn't be a problem but when it gets busy, this small room can fill up quick and with no hostess stand as your first point of contact it could get rather confusing. Directly to the right of the entrance is a small dining area that is generally where they put the 2 tops or larger parties that want to sit together. If you continue past where the hostess stands (as previously mentioned she doesn't have an actually stand which when I was working there left me feeling rather exposed.) to the right is the bathrooms and kitchen. You will notice that above the entrance is a long legged clown that is more-or-less spread eagle over the door opening. First off if you don't notice this than you are obviously more accustomed to clowns than you would like to admit (and frankly I would like to hear about) and second if you do notice than you are looking directly at the clowns crotch which will leave you with a whole mess of psychological problems that will never go away...forever. I recommend avoiding looking all together. Once you advert your eyes, passed this sexually perverted, mind f*cking clown is the second level dining area. This space houses 4 booths and a random "intimate" 2 top that feels more like they are trying to hide you away. As the hostess I would admit to sticking my fair share of colorful characters back in there. If you do want to be hidden away, ask to sit upstairs on the third level. There are two 4 tops that have curtains that can be closed for your personal dining pleasure. Just ask Barry Bonds, who closed these curtains to tell his son to never get married and just sleep around with as many woman as possible. (yes ayes heard it with mine own two ears) What a lovely role model. Directly adjacent there is also two booths and two round tables occupying this space. This area is great if you want to hold a private, secluded event...or tell your, at the time, 19 year old son about the birds and the bees.


Behind the Bar: No need to ask anyone about the woes of this place, I worked here for a brief stint (about 2 years ago now and I haven't been back so if I am off please let me know. I won't change what I have said because once I am on a roll there is really no turning back. I will, however, make a 5pt font sidenote with your comments. Cheers!), and hence have my own behind the scenes take on it. Other than my obvious disdain for the lack of a hostess stand and the fact that it is the creepiest decor ever, the multi-levelness of the place is less than desirable. I understand utilizing all levels of your space. But that third level is ridiculously hard for a server to maintain, especially in regards to the type of people that go there. (That will be discussed in the who's who section) And speaking of that area, yes I know there is a door up there, and yes I know that patio looking think would totally just be the most perfect place to enjoy your cancer stick, but no...you can not go out there. Why? It might be because the people that live behind the building don't want to hear your clucking stilletoes while listening to you talk about how much your porsche cost. But most likely it is because that terrace is not that structurally sound and the restaurant is looking out for your best interest. So stop asking!


Who's Who: Since this is a more expensive establishment you are going to get a more high-end crowd. Please don't take offense to anything I have said. I love these kinda folks (mostly when I am on the inside looking out). I recommend Bobo's as a place to take a client that you need to impress, a place to take a date you need to impress, a special event where you need to be impressed (and that you don't have to pay for - i.e. birfday or graduation), or parents that need to shut their kids up by taking them to an expensive clown show. I would seriously avoid the last one though, more often than not clowns are scarier than they are funny for kids, and if I am in a fine dining restaurant with kids screaming around me...it is I that will be the scary one.

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